When I ask people if they think they are an introvert or extrovert they often say something like “I used to be an introvert but I’m now an extrovert”. I think what most people are referring to here is that they used to be shy and now they have more confidence so they may be a little more assertive or outgoing.
They also take the personality tests as a fun little quiz and then disregard the results and take no action on it.
And some people think that they’ve come so far in their self-discovery journey and feel pretty confident with who they are and don’t feel they need to know anymore. They are just happy with them being themselves.
I’ve been to all of those places. I used to take personality tests to see if I could finally figure out that missing piece inside of me. People would tell me that I just need to be myself and that everything would fall into place.
But…. who am I?
Am I the person who was so shy as a little girl that I never said a word? Am I the person who loves to sit in a coffee shop and do my own thing? Or am I that person who loves to be outgoing and dance with my closest friend?
In order to figure out who that person is that people kept telling me I should be, I needed more information.
So, I bought books, lots, and lots of books. I’ve purchased numerous self-development courses. I’ve even attended some events and lectures. I downloaded every free offer I could find on psychology and personality trying to decipher who I was. I even got a degree in Psychology, all on my hunt for who I am and how I fit into this world.
I remember getting so overwhelmed by information (even though it was interesting) that I would completely shut down. I would sit at the bottom of the shower and try to not think at all. I would go outside in the fresh air and try and block out all images from my mind. And heaven forbid someone asked for my help during this time, can they not see that I was frustrated and at my end? (Turns out people can’t read minds!).
This ended up being a very expensive journey. I spent my way through depression and a panic disorder just to feel ‘normal’ for a little while. My debt was out of control and I wasn’t bringing any money in. I just couldn’t figure out who I was and what I was supposed to do.
I remember in my philosophy class one of my professors said something that stuck with me the rest of my life. He said, “there may be no point in life”. What?! Then why are we here. My mind really started going. Here I am trying to figure out the point to life and there may not be one. I really needed to figure this all out.
So after years and years (and years) of discovering who I am, I’ve finally figured out how to get there.
I was definitely on the right track with all that learning but I didn’t know how to piece it all together and what to do with it.
So for those of you looking to find yourself and make sense of all this craziness we call life then you’re in the right place.
I’ve found out that some of the personality quizzes we take are actually extremely helpful and valuable. I learned that not all people will need to understand who they are at the same level that I do.
But I can’t tell you how relieving and peaceful knowing all about my personality types and traits are. It’s like I can finally breathe for the first time.
How can this relate to you?
Check out Part 2 to find out.