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Have fun this season

‘Tis the season to be jolly?

How many times do

you get excited for the holidays with all the gift giving, yummy food and festive creativity that goes on only to feel like you need to escape at the first holiday get together you go to?

Your energy is drained, you get overwhelmed with the noise of all the people, all the different smells coming together and/or light flickering all over. Then you think of your warm cozy house, all quite with the fire going while reading your favourite book. How amazing!

If you resonate with some of those you may be introverted and/or highly sensitive.

Here are a few tips to help you through the holidays.

  1. Plan ahead and skip it if you need to.
    1. If you get stressed over wrapping presents, baking cookies, cleaning your house then make sure to start earlier rather than later. Start your shopping now and slowly get all your gifts together. If baking cookies seems too stressful, then skip it this year. For house cleaning, it really doesn’t have to be perfect. People are coming to see you not your clean house – plus, it’ll just get dirty all over again.
  2. Take things at your pace.
    1. If you are to arrive at an event at 7 pm and you need some extra time then go a little later. Release the need to be perfect and do things at other people’s speed.
  3. It’s okay to do what you need to do.
    1. This is so important. If you need to go to an event for only one hour then don’t stay for 4 hours. If you don’t want to attend a function or be part of a gift exchange then just let them know you are so honoured that they thought of you but you need to skip it this year. You don’t have to do anything you’re not okay with.
  4. Find the reasons you want to partake in something.
    1. Many times we go to places because you “have to”. Remember that you can choose to do the things you want (I know, “I don’t want to go to my in-laws but I have to”). If that’s the case, try to remember who it is you’re doing it for and the happiness that comes out of doing something that means so much to another person.
  5. Try my energy tips
    1. If you feel your energy drains easily, check out my tips over here:
  6. Remember why you like the holidays
    1. What is it that makes you smile? Is it marshmallows in hot chocolate? The fireplace blazing? The smell of gingerbread in the air? Try to create more of those moments than those of stress and strain. Also, be in the moment when you do them. If you’re drinking your hot chocolate then focus on that. If you mindlessly drink it then you may not really get the full effect of it.
  7. Pretend to be a kid again!
    1. Did you enjoy the holidays as a child? Watch your favourite children’s movie, colour a seasonal holiday book or get your picture taken with Santa! There’s no reason you can’t and it may just add a smile to your face.

For those celebrating Thanksgiving – I hope it is filled with love and laughter!

I’m a transformational coach for introverted and highly sensitive souls that want to break free from the anxieties and overwhelm of living in an extroverted fast paced world, so they can live an authentic and carefree life. I work with people both in their personal or business life. If you’re interested in more go to my site for a free clarity call or sign up for my holiday survival guide.


  1. Wendy

    So true! The holidays are an important time, but that doesn’t mean that we “have to” do anything if we aren’t comfortable and don’t want to! It’s too easy to get caught up in what others expect of us, and sometimes it’s just too much. Especially with large families.

    We have ourselves and our own families to take care of, and we should all be enjoying the holidays, not just the few that are arranging the get-togethers.

    And it’s important for our own families to have special alone time with ourselves, it doesn’t have to be always with others, and always commotion.

    I totally agree with you – and relax!

  2. Ashleigh

    These are wonderful tips! I have social anxiety and I find myself doing a lot of these. I’d describe myself as an ambivert… I don’t like being in big crowds and loud settings make me uncomfortable, but I love being in a small group of friends. I love talking, at least for a while. I’m usually the first to leave a party but the last to leave a small group! It’s about accepting your limits and working within them.

  3. Jane

    Tessa, these tips are great for the introvert person who feels overwhelmed with socialising and be involved with all the family in the holiday session. I used to feel this way when I was younger when I was a very timid shy soul. But these days, I have found a solution to finding confidence, and that is connected to my life values and the real me inside who is naturally confident and knows what she wants in life. Since I live my life to my own values and not controlled with the thoughts of “having to” attend events I don’t want to go to, I don’t suffer anymore about the stress of the holiday season, I just go out to enjoy myself at the events that resonate with me and have the people I love to be with. With family, I spend the necessary time with them to have fun and have a lovely meal, but don’t feel obligated to stay around as I know my own limits of socialising and tune in to when its time to leave. Its all about knowing your boundaries and tuning into your inner intuition to be guided to know what event to go to and when to leave.

  4. Lehua

    Like Kieta, I totally didn’t see your byline at the end of your last post… it must have slipped my mind. I’m stoked that you cater to a niche that really gets overlooked in the social world. As an introvert who finds herself in the entrepreneurial extrovert world more often than she’d like, it’s a huge relief to know that I can give myself permission to unwind in solitude. Huge events (and even some aspects of my work), while fulfilling to connect with others, leave me feeling utterly drained. As an empath, I’m also highly sensitive to people’s energies, as I mentioned in your other post.

    Thanks for such a wonderful post. I will make more of an effort to be more mindful of the holidays this year and onward. 🙂

  5. Kieta

    Last time I came by your blog, I read your tips for guarding energy (loved them, btw) but I didn’t actually read your little bio blog at the end. It’s super cool that you coach introverts/highly sensitive souls… You’re actually the first coach I’ve ever seen with that niche. I am a highly social introvert, so much so that most people would never guess that I Am an introvert but large crowds and social gatherings truly drain me and I often find myself ticking the minutes until II can escape home to peace and quiet. Extroverts get a lot of love, thanks for looking out for the rest of us. 🙂 Also, I Super agree with detaching from other people’s schedules and creating a flow that works for me. It’s very freeing. 🙂


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